Fuck this

I'm angry.

I know it's useless to scream and yell and wave my arms, but it feels so unfair.

I eat right; exercise; go to bed early; I don't smoke or drink, and my caffiene intake is limited to a couple of cups of green tea per day -- and if I'm getting really crazy, a cup of black tea. I've cut my chocolate consumption down to almost nothing and I avoid all artificial flavor and colorings in my diet.

I've tried so many things over the past four years.

But I still have these miserable, wretched headaches.

I feel like I drew the short straw when they were handing out heads.

I feel like I'm being punished for surviving past child bearing age. If I'd lived in another era, maybe I'd have died in childbirth long before I got to this point.

I'm trying hard not to whine and wallow in self pity, but these headaches are getting me down. They affect my job, my social life, my sense of well-being.
"This too shall pass," I mutter through gritted teeth.

But even after it passes, I worry about when the next one will hit.

Well, life is unfair. I knew that.

I'm just not coping with it very well today.

I took Relpax yesterday for a headache -- it worked, but it makes me so tired and spacy and kind of achy, as well.

This morning, before I even got out of bed I felt an ominous twinge.

By the time Obama had begun his inaugural speech, I was sitting with my head in my hands, pressing into the hollows above my eyes. So much for stirring historic moments.

I'm not sure I'm going to be able to complete my work without taking Relpax, but I'm afraid I'm just setting off a chain reaction of rebound headaches by taking it two days in a row.

I just don't think I should take it today.